Happy New Year, friends. This year is starting out with as much laughter as we ended with in 2011 when buyers flocked “like bees to hiney.” (Please see the 2011 Dufis Award in my last post.) The following bloopers will prove that nothing much has changed regarding MLS giggles and goofs. Check out these gaffes to start your year with some hearty laughs:
One Too Many
"Ring hell" (You mean New Jersey?)
“Mable on floor” (Apparently Mable is running a tab…)
“Start the year with a bung” (No thanks, I already divorced one of those.)
“Come for Thai launch” (I didn’t know a Thai could orbit.)
“Hind end electronics” (Does the seller’s arse lights up like a Christmas tree?)
“New canopee adds color” (I bet a can-o-pee would add warmth, too.)
“Serving crackers and drip” (That explains the can-o-pee.)
And, You’re Staggering…
“Choose custom pants” (I’ll take the ones wearing George Clooney.)
“Good property in desire area” (Let me guess - a one hour hotel just off Hollywood Blvd?)
“Temporary on hood” (That’s called a hit-and-run in L.A.)
“Happy new ear” (…Mumbled Van Gogh just before he sealed the envelope.)
“Nice view pint” (“View” pint? Methinks you’ve been chugging pints.)
“5bd/3ba mouse” (I suspect there were steroids involved…)
“For hose that want a great view” (Don’t most hose have a great view?)
“Fast appoval with no wit” (There’s no wit like a dim wit, nitwit.)
You’ll Never Recover From THIS!
“All cocs require wet signatures’ (Uh… I first heard that line from my high school boyfriend, pal. I believe he’s still in intensive care.)
Have a great year, friends, and look for more bloopers next Friday!
For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/ or Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.
Welcome home, Gwen..........
I had visited your high school boy friend when he was in intensive care. Boy!!!!!Did you do a job on him. Found out later that he started using the name, "Tiny Tim", and that's why he had such a high pitched voice. You weren't "Miss Vickie" in those days, Gwen?????
Thought I would see you on TV New Year's Eve when the ball dropped in Times Square, but I missed you.
Have a Happy, Happy New Year, and may all the good things come your way. (Don't try to read something into that sentence.)
RJ
Gwen - not only are the bloopers so funny, but your commentary is even funnier - I'll even forgive the NJ comment - lol. Thanks for giving us all a good laugh and reminding us how many idiots are still out there!
I always must remember to have gone to the bathroom (no can-o-pee for me) before reading your wonderful posts.
And, never be drinking anything either, lest I embarrass myself, too.
Thanks for some great laughs. Your comments sometimes make me tear up with laughter.
Have a wonderful 2012.
RJ, Happy New Year! Yes, my High School boyfriend had a high voice...and high pants...and high hopes... I wish you a year of happiness, health, success and laughter.
Gwen -- trying to figure out what some of these folks meant is fairly easy -- on others nearly impossible. Not so amazing that they can get these by the spell checkers, as so many are correctly spelled wrong words.
Kristine, thanks for your sense of humor. My regular readers will tell you I tease about Jersey with a heart full of love because I graduated from High School in Hamilton, N.J.! Believe me, I miss it often. Incidentally, the idiots in life are prevalent...
Suzanne, Happy New Year! I always love hearing from you - in spite of your leaking problems :)
Steven, what begs the question is: How did they pass the R.E. exam???
I move all liquids away from the computer. I use the bathroom. Then I read Gwen's post. It was a lot messier here when I didn't take those precautions.
As always Gwen, you make us think and smile, thx...
and belated Happy New Year!
Marge, always make sure you keep at least one hand on the martini glass...as I do.
Marti, Mable is on the floor - probably lying next to Van Gogh's ear - so I'm glad that at least someone is thinking :) Happy New Year to you, too!
Gwen,
Happy New Year! Hose with a view? maybe not the ones Joe Namath wears.
Dick Beals
Dick, you're right - I stand corrected. (Unlike Mable, who can't stand at all.)
Oh thank you! I really do love a good laugh.
Now, if I could just figure out what some of those folks were trying to say... This is like a puzzle with no clues.
Marte, if they could figure out what they were trying to say, we would all be relieved!
“All cocs require wet signatures"
I want to know why Mable is on the floor.
Hi Gwen--happy to have you back! I have to say that 2012 is way funnier than 2011 was. That last one is to die for. I can hardly type this for the tears rolling down my face.
Hi Gwen. Too funny. I guess proof reading and spell check are so passe.
Those are pretty good, yet again! The lady in the heart up there looks very much like photos of my mother, during that, "her," era. And your comment regarding Van Gogh was funny, but a hair grim!
And of course, there's a couple of those I won't touch!
Cindy, I'd say that agent needs to stop horsing around :)
Donne, That one actually left me in shock. Seriously, my jaw drops everytime I read it, so I'm glad it's not just me...
Jane, Mable is on the floor because she was doing shooters at a dive in L.A. with Jane Peters and Gwen Banta.
Janet, I'm glad to be back - and to find you here in 2012 - Happy New Year!
Conrad, apparently intelligence and common sense are passe as well.
Jay, I cannot explain my distorted sense of humor beyond the influence of alcohol, drugs, and the plate in my head. However, I do know another idiot besides me when I see one. (No, not YOU - the blooper brigade :-)
I don't think I would have labeled your sense of humor as distorted! Really dry, and perhaps a bit sarcastic, and bordering on caustic - but I like it! And I would not label you as anything approaching an idiot!
Since you are always wondering where your next date will come from, the next time you are in DC you are quite welcome at our house. We would love to have you! I am a grilling fool, put out the best steaks in town, and my (wonderful) grill is the closest thing I can offer you to a "hot" date. My wife has very nice plates for guests, but you can still bring the plate in your head... I'm sure she won't mind. Hopefully the dog doesn't want to lick your head after dinner. (She is used to getting the plates, you understand.)
Gwen, you're off to a great start! I have to admit I got a great visual at the Van Gogh comment. Of course the "Temporary on hood" did create a nice visual and a memory or two. Nice way to start my Sunday morning! Have a great week, and a belated Happy New Year.
I've missed your Gwen....
“Choose custom pants” (I’ll take the ones wearing Bon Jovi.)
Which means there is no NJ negative talk allowed in my house.. I know..my poor husband.
Mike, dare I ask what memories you had of something on your hood??? Happy New Year!~
Patty, Bon Jovi is certainly a contender...but let's not forget The Boss. I actually love New Jersey - great pizza and great people. Hamilton was my High School Alma Mater. Of course, that was when dinosaurs roamed the earth...
::::::::::horror:::::::::::::::
There is an error in my comment above... Oh, the shame. I have to drink a martini (or 2 or 3) while listening to Bon Jovi and hopefully, by tomorrow, I will be able to face the world again. Ah!!!!!!!!!
You are my kind of girl, Martini Mary! Oh, and Patty, Bon Jovi and I both adore you just the same.
Best bloopers ever, Gwen, but your comments are even better! Comedy writing is in your cards!
Thank you, Melissa. I'm glad I may amount to something...in spite of the predictions of my third grade teacher :)
Hi Gwen,
I'll keep my eyes out for local MLS mayhem for you, because the way you put the lists together with your own commentary is just priceless.
I don't know if any of these will make the grade, but here goes:
Hurry - won't last (days on market exceed 350...)
Flowing flow plan
Lots of son
Ruce reduction! (first words in the public MLS remarks - really?!?)
These are hysterical, M.C.! I just love the "flowing flow plan," which sounds to me like it's in a flood hazard zone. "Lots of son" must be the listing for Octomom's house. I'm not sure what a "ruce reduction" is, but it sounds like something one should put in gumbo. Or am I the one who's crazy?
Gwen, thanks. I feel much better after reading the comment above. I might even be able to leave the house tomorrow... no promises though.
You are SO funny! what classic wit - love it.
Patty, if I were home with Bon Jovi, I would NEVER want to leave the house!
M.C., thank you. Drop in every Friday for more MLS bloopers!