Something may have been rotten in the State of Denmark, but the MLS isn’t smelling much better. Check out these stinkers and clinkers from the MLS and other real estate ads if you’re in the mood for a few giggles:
Something Seems Amiss…
“One moth incentive” (Do you wave wool sweaters before their little eyes?)
“Come see a good hose” (All I see is a dumb hoser.)
“This yer special” (Aww, yer special, too… in a really slow kind of way.)
“Ice cram served” (That’s even too kinky for me…and I live in L.A.!)
“$10k bonus to close end” (Have you tried the “ice cram”? That oughta close your end!)
Now I’m really Confused
“Drawwing for fre tip” (Here’s a “fre tip”: Try removing your baseball mitt when you type.)
“Out with the old, usher in the mew” (Interesting - ice the old broad and then buy a cat?)
“Prussians can stay” (…So said the Germans, but how’s that workin’ out for ‘em now?)
“Dog hole will be fixed” (I believe it’s their protrusions that require alteration…)
“Turn R at chich” (…Got stoned with Chong?)
“Water dramage” (That’s what I said to the bartender when he put too much water in my scotch.)
“Too mush to desscribe” (That’s what I said when he bent over in his tight jeans.)
This Week’s Faves:
“Windy path” (You must be describing my Uncle Paddy’s boxer shorts.)
"Expel the best" (I believe that is an Irish farting game, no?)
“Invisible wall of gass” (That’s what we call my Uncle Paddy after a few beers and a sausage.)
That's all until next Friday, folks. In the meantime - Spell and Sell!
For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/ or Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.
Hi Gwen, too funny...LOL! I see this stuff in our MLS all the time. Best of success to you this year!
Oh how fun .. lots of laughs and love your follow up comments!
Gwen just what the heck was "Prussians can stay possiblly supposed to have meant? At least most of the other ones we can sort of tell, LOL.
Gwen-Hilarious, I occasionally use phonetics "butt" always use spell check! LOL.
Hysterical! Thanks for the giggle!
Loved the comments you had for each. I'm sure I have been guilty of this a time or two, but now I am going to pay close attention!! Thank you for the post. It's good to have a little laugh now and again.
Some are funny on their own but your commentary is worthy of stand-up!
That's great, I do believe water dramage is a combination of damage and the drama that it causes, mashing damage and drama together makes.... dramage!
A few years back in our MLS a listing agent had described her listing as, "Ideal for the discriminated buyer". (obviously meant discriminating).
Jordon, thank you - and all the same to you!
Connie, thank you for reading. The Blooper Scooper comes out every Friday (although I was late this week), so be sure to drop by next week for more fun.
Juli, my guess is they either they meant "Persians" (as in carpets?)... or there was a neighborhood invasion!
Adrian, that's the best way not to make a butt of yourself :-)
Thanks for reading, Wayne and Jean; and have a great year!
Benjamin, may your entire year be filled with laughter!
Margaret, it's always great to hear from you. I could never do stand-up - I'm so clumsy I'd fall off the stage. Oh, wait...maybe that's a result of the martinis...
Thanks for clearing up the Prussian comment . . .that one did have me wondering! Thanks for the giggles! :)
Valerie - I'm only guessing - maybe the Prussians really did all move to the U.S.
Thanks for the weekly dose of gut-busters. You have quite a talent, Gwen.
My favorite is "Invisible wall of gass" - as if perhaps their flatulant uncle had left a little something for the buyers to smell.
Thank you, Suzanne. It's odd that my parents never appreciated my smart mouth :-)
Bryan, you may be right. Maybe this was the agent's subtle attempt to warn prospective buyers of noxious fumes. "Disclose, disclose, disclose!"
I know where to go whenever I need a good laugh. Where on earth do you find these things?
Gwen, You are funnier than a session of Laughter Yoga. The world is a happier place with you translating the bloopers.
Hi Gwen--thank God for these agents, otherwise where would my weekly tear-filled laughter come from. Some of these definitely have me stumped this week. Can't believe these agents are so busy they can't spell check.
Alan, I get submissions from all over the country. It seems that misspelling, like baseball, is an American institution.
Marge, thank you - it's always great to hear from you!
Janet, you should see the ones I can't include for fear of being bleeped!
Hi Gwen - Typing with a baseball mitt cracked me up. Am I on skype?
These are too much! I had to expel the best, but my favorite was a little disconcerting.
Instead of the suggestion there, can I ice the old broad and buy a dog? I'm kind of a dog guy. The ones that include the protrusions...
Gwen,
You get better! I would not have believed it, but you do.
Dick Beals
Yes, Conrad - I'm watching you. Cute boxers!
Jay, a cat is a "mew," so if you can find a dog that mews....
Dick, can you please dump Sandy and come to L.A? (I'm teasing, Sandy - please don't hurt me. :-)
Gwen -- I must read too much literature set in England, as I thought "mew" was one of the houses built aroung an open yard or alley. Still not sure why you would want to usher in a mew though.
You are right, Steven - it is. Unfortunately this listing was from somewhere in the U.S. Do you think they were suggesting that we "usher in" more British-influenced neighborhood development for our narrow alleyways? Perhaps with cat murals? :)
I came by for my weekly giggle. Thanks, Gwen.
Gwen
This is hysterical! Ice cram, indeed! Really need to laugh more often...and be careful a lot!
Thanks for this series. I truly look forward to a humongous belly laugh.
Gwen... I'm so glad that Pacita Dimacali re-blogged this so I could have such a great few moments of hysterical laughter! And, I'm with Margaret, #7, your commentary just adds so much :)
Pacita, that "ice cram" thing gave me nightmares! I picture an evil Good Humor man lurking about the neighborhood offering free Popsicles to the unsuspecting. Of course, as you know, my mind often wanders to the Theatre of the Absurd...
Peggy, welcome aboard the blooper train! I post these every Friday just so we can all start the weekend with a few laughs.
LOL.
Real life and real MLS is a great source of entertainment....ahhh for a proofreader...but then, we wouldn't have such entertaining blogs !
Bernadette, thanks for reading!
Sally and David, there are so many bloopers I can't even include because they look like an explosion of Alphabet Soup. It makes me wonder if someone fell asleep and their head hit the keyboard!
Gwen,
“$10k bonus to close end”
I would think that one would offer 10k for an open end.. but what do I know.
Patty, perhaps you should give that hapless agent a sound talking-to!