As an experienced agent, I sometimes think I’ve seen everything, but when I read the remarks below, I realized I have so much to learn. For instance, how does one get enough pate for a road? Or enough figs to make drapes? And why would one shag on a roof? Read these bloopers, and then maybe you can explain it all to me:
A Leg Up On Things
“Leg in for details” (Oh yay – we’re doing the Hokey-Pokey!)
“Custom figged drapes” (How do you get the little fig seeds into the fabric?)
“Road just pated” (Hence the expression, “What am I – chopped liver?”)
“Foe painting in lvg rom” (Uh, did that skull and crossbones on your wall tell you anything? )
“1/4 miles to Malibu Winary” (It’s apparent you’ve clocked this too many times…)
The Foot In Your Mouth Is Yours…
“Please leave fool and drink outside” (I tried that with my ex, but my neighbor kept complaining about the olives in her fountain. )
“Lawn just seedy” (Well, that describes your whole trailer park, doesn’t it?)
"Shed in bud condition" (And another grow house springs up in Hollywood...)
“Note new sin” (That's Hollywood for ya - we've perfected sin.)
“Rooms washed with color” (Yet another reason for chlorine-free bleach…)
That Last Step Resulted In Bodily Injury
“New shag shingles” (I can tell you from experience that a person should never shag on a roof.)
“Autistic touches throughout” (That’s a really moronic oxymoron, moron.)
"No credit for pest" (That's what my divorce lawyer said when I asked for hazardous duty pay.)
“New tail in kitchen” (Dead rabbit in stew.)
Speaking of the Tail End...
“Floos just finished” (And so am I.)
That's all until next Friday, folks. In the meantime - Spell and Sell!
For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/ or Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.
I do like a bit of good humor going into Friday and the weekend!
Gwen, I think you have it all wrong on one of those - I think there's shag carpeting on the roof. I can just imagine that avocado green yarn all over!!! LOL.
Larry, Thanks for reading - I wish you a laugh-filled weekend!
Juli, you're right - it must be one of those roofs you can rake!
Gwen - I always love your blooper posts.
Yesterday I got to write about a whole long paragraph filled with bloopers. One of them pointed out the unpredicted materials used in the kitchen.
Just as I'm trying to figure out what a "foe painting" is, I'm still trying to figure out how that one could have been a typo.
Gwen
As always a fun read, cheers cvc
Marte, that's hysterical. Whereas I can guess that "foe painting" should have been "faux painting," I cannot possibly fathom what "unpredicted materials" could be. Maybe someone out there can help us out. Any ideas, anyone?
Curtis, thanks for dropping in. Have a great weekend!
Gwen -- thank you for the chuckles again. I am surprised you could refrain from further comment on the next to the last misprint.
Another great list Gwen. Always something to look forward to on Fridays. Thanks for sharing.
As always a smile for my friday. Thanks for being able to pick out the goodies.
"Lawn just seedy" is definitely my favorite. Thanks for the Friday afternoon giggle!
Hi Gwen,
Good ones! I saw a note in a house I was showing..."Shit door when leaving" (it was on the wrong door I think)
Dick Beals
Steven, had the tail been in the bedroom, I would have had to stuff a grapefruit in my mouth to keep from spewing. It was hard enough as it was!
Jim, I always look forward to hearing from you!
Cindy, there usually many to select from - I just select the ones I can mock the best!
Dick, that is hilarious! I have seen "shut" misspelled many, many times. Perhaps agents should visit the bathroom before typing...
Gwen... what a sense of humor you have and thanks for sharing it with all of us on AR!
Peggy, thank you for calling it a "sense of humor" and not "a twisted mind"! :-)
Friday is my fav day of the week cause I know I will have a new Gwen post waiting for me.
Now let me scroll up to read it.
Gwen,
Some might prefer to "fist in for details" but to each his own, right?
Ha, Patty - you crack me up!
Don't shingles crack if you shag on them?
Patty, from my experience, yes. And if they are cedar, watch out for splinters! :)
Gwen, I will take your word for it and I will save me the trouble.. that is unless an opportunity to shag on shingles in presented to me by a certain NJ singer, then I would not mind the splinters.
Gwen, you've done it again. I thought maybe that new tail in kitchen was a disclosure about a girlfriend over during lunch, but I digress. Tell the moron that he doesn't have to disclose that on the real estate listing, just on the divorce affidavit. Great job!
Austistic touches throughout obviously added by the listing agent.
Hi Gwen,
now I know what to do with all theseweird write ups we see from time to time, they are good for a laugh anytime....
Gwen~ The 1/4 miles to the Malibu Winary takes the cake for me this week.
Patty, if you do, get me an autograph!
Got a good laugh out of this post. I guess proof reading has gone out of style.
Mike, you would think a gentleman would know not to shag-n-brag. Get a few drinks into some people and they don't know when to shut up!
Jane, you can imagine how hard I worked to be politically correct on that one...and I bit a hole in my tongue when I saw the "tail in the kitchen"!
Peter and Linda - send them to me - I have enough of a twisted mind and a smart mouth for all of us!
Donna, I wonder how that agent managed to type and still keep her wine in her glass!
Alan, you're right...along with common sense!
Why Patty, I didn't know that Chris Christie could sing???
Oh, Gwen! Some of these could be mine! They are totally ilarious. hilarious!
Bruce, you're evil! I'm sure Patty was referring to Ice T.
Patricia, you're too smart to make my list. On the other hand, I once made my own list!
Gwen, all I can say is I hope it is the same roof that held Zero Mostel!
Bruce, that sure was a great roof for fiddlin' around!
Gwen, gotta watch that new sin, wonder what it is. Maybe has something to do with the fool and his drink outside!
Why thanks, Gwen! I like my new credentials to hang out on my shingle:
Bruce Walter A.A.D. (Also A Doctor)
Or the tail in the kitchen, John!
ATTENTION Deficit Disorder
Gwen, I think you should be talking to the President and the Congress!!!
Bruce, be nice or I'll send my reprobate Democrat pals out there to TPee your house.
I have had a dog or two with a leg up on things, mostly things around the neighborhood. That helped the lawns to be seedy.
And when I lived with my grandmother in DC there was a garage nearby we could climb on top of and eat mulberries. Is that shagging mulberries?
Good morning Gwen,
You always deliver on providing a great laugh! "Foe painting", good grief!
Gwen, if I do, I will get you an autograph plus I will tweet a picture Anthony Weiner style.
Bruce, I don't think Chris Christie can sign but he sure can eat.
Gwen, Chris Christie probably drinks Ice T to wash down all the food.
Just want to say how glad I am that Bruce is back.
Jay, that all depends...were the Mulberries the twin girls who lived next door?
Thanks, Lisa. At least "foe" sounds like "faux," so that agent just missed the firing squad!
Bruce, Newt has more sense than I gave him credit for! :)
Patty, before you do that, I should let you know that I have a wide network on FB!
Yes, Patty, he's Baaaaack!!! Now no one is safe :-)
Hi Gwen--I missed my Friday night fix. Usually I have one stand out favorite, but this week they are all gems--including your comments.
Janet, thank you - you can probably imagine some of the things I wish I could write!
I included this post in Last Week's Favorites. So now you've made my list! Have a great week.
Gwen...
Pat put me on to this post and it is hysterical. Now I feel compelled to check all of my listings!
Lots of stupid agents putting in new listings this week! Nice new batch!
Gwen, got it. Send proof to twitter facebook.
Patricia, thanks so much - you made my week!
Richard, the Blooper Blog is posted every Friday, so be sure to drop back by.
Bryan, they may not be stupid, but they certainly are careless and clueless!
Patty, I forgot, it was Twitter where Weiner posted his Tweeter, but you, my dear, will be Facebook Fan-tastic!
Bruce, don't tempt Patty. I bet that girl would do it, and then you and I would have to post her bail bond!
Pat's Favs sent me here because your title made me think I would see pictures of people brushing Vietnamese Noodle Soup onto their walls. And to learn how they get the noodles to stick.
Gwen you're very clever and creative. Do you do stand up?
"Please leave fool and drink outside"
That is a beauty! Every bar in town should put that up.
Ahhh... foe painting instead of faux painting. The most typical example of "foe" painting would be when homes listed by RE/MAX agents would have pictures of KW agents on the walls, and of course, vicey-versy.
So funny. I never seem to notice any of these mistakes on my MLS. I'm not sure if they're not there or if I read over them so fast, I'm just not noticing them.
Always enjoy these thanks for posting.
Gwen - I am thinking about sending it to both twitter and Facebook. People will really want to see that, don't you think.
Yeah Bruce.. don't tempt me.
And please, put some money aside - just in case.
I bet there is a very long list somewhere of all the chicks who whipped Warren Beatty.
Yeah, I agree; everyone except her.
If I had such a list, I would definitely give it to Jack Nicholson to keep. No one messes with him.
Gosh, Patty! A true #1 fan of JBJ would have taken Gwen up on her invitation and produced a groupie photo of herself with the rocker by now!!!! I'm sorry but the title of #1 fan goes back to fellow AR member Debra Walsh!!! ^_~
Now if only I could explain it to you... perhaps they are doing it to provide you with blog fodder? It is oh so funny, but oh so damn scary... wow!
Great list again!!!
I wish! No twins lived next door, for sure. This house (and mulberry tree) were in DC and my neighbor was an old guy with bad psoriasis on his hands and talked real slow. His name was Mr. Frost. You might know him as Robert Frost. As a kid, I was not so impressed by that!
Andrea, perhaps it all makes sense in some parallel universe...
Jay, Robert Frost ! Seriously??? I used to babysit for cartoonist Johnny Hart's kids; and Rod Sterling would often drop by. To me, those brilliant guys were just two nice old men. Johnny worked for GE at the time, and his cartoons were a "hobby." That became one lucrative hobby! It seems that Rod Serling fared farely well himself :)
Gwen, thats a hoot!! What a fun list and really made a tickle in my day... hee hee..
Thank you, Tammy. Please be sure to subscribe - I post the Blooper Blog every Friday!
Wow, what gets by some folks. I must admit, however, that I had to read one a few times and I kept missing the mistake. I myself have written before "artistic touches throughout" so kept thinking "what's wrong with that?" Finally noticed they wrote autistic. Shows that it got by me, too, though.
Gretchen
Gretchen, you may not know my story about my most famous blunder - I once signed a letter to my clients on behalf of my partner and myself: "Best retards"! That said it all. I guess some things get by all of us.
Good morning Gwen,
I came over from Debbie's re-blogg to tell you this is fabulous! I love the title!! We have all done something like this and have learned but hey we are all human and we do make mistakes! Thank for the fun MLS Bloopers!
Dorie, welcome to the Blooper Blog - it comes out every Friday, so be sure to drop back by.